I HAVE A LITTLE SATNAV.

I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver’s friend
It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav
I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It’s thirty miles an hour", it says
"You’re doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it’s never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I’m sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey’s pretty fraught
So why don’t I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I’m properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And – keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off!

Author Unknown

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68 thoughts on “I HAVE A LITTLE SATNAV.

  1. Hilarious response Camilla – I would like to print it side by side with the original in our Ford Club Magazine – the ladies will love it!

  2. Pingback: A reply from the satnav. | The Photographic Journey of bulldog.

  3. Couldnt help myself, so i wrote a reply from the wifes perspective:

    I am your little satnav

    I am your little satnav
    I sit there in your car
    I am a driver’s best friend
    I tell you where you are

    I am your little satnav
    I’ve stuck by you all my life
    I’m better than all the other ones
    Yes, I am your wife

    I give you full instructions
    Cause if I didn’t do
    Our life would be very messy
    I can’t trust it all on you

    I tell you when to stop and start
    I have to smell your stinky fart
    And if I want a break
    I have to fake a head ache

    If I didn’t tell you when the light is red
    Or when it goes to green
    You will try to relive your youth
    And drive like when you were nineteen

    I cook your food every day
    Make sure all your clothes are clean
    Taking this in to account
    You should treat me like a queen

    I’m sure no other husband
    Has such a patient wife
    For when you leave the toilet seat up
    I could stab you with a knife

    It fills me up with wonder
    I could have had my pick
    So why don’t I exchange you
    And get a younger prick?

    Ah well, you see, I keep my promises,
    Like the one the day we wed,
    Until death do us part
    And – you’re not half bad in the bed!

    So shut up and drive the car
    Keep listening to my voice
    To turn me off
    Is simply not a choice.

  4. Wow, and after I just read that loving tribute to your wife on your anniversary. Marriage is a fickle thing. This is pretty cute though!

  5. This is awesome…..will print and share with hubby. Hubby and I have been together thirty years and we don’t fight often. The few times we do, it’s usually in the car when dear wife helps too much! LOL

  6. Did my husband send that poem to you? Did he write it? Sounds mighty suspicious to me. We just returned from a car trip to Rhode Island (about 200 miles) and he drove abominably. I kept trying to help him with my carefully worded suggestions, but I suspect he would have like to turn me off too.

  7. The moment you turned it off, you are actually gonna miss it. I have one too when I drive which I actually needed since I am poor when navigating. “I have a little Satnav
    I’ve had it all my life
    It’s better than the normal ones
    My Satnav is my wife.” Great post.

  8. Oh this is so great bulldog! I am also a little “Satnav” then!! Maybe that’s what Penny should name the loving dragon?! 🙂 I totally thought you wrote this one – and was beaming with pride — no? “unknown” — still may be?? Regardless wonderful share … I will pass this on for certain! So did relate — Sending you Love ~ and Linda your “Satnav” too x R

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