I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver’s friend
It tells you where you are
I have a little Satnav
I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It’s thirty miles an hour", it says
"You’re doing thirty five"
It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it’s never ever
Safe to overtake
It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene
It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.
I’m sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice
It fills me up with counselling
Each journey’s pretty fraught
So why don’t I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I’m properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And – keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off!
Author Unknown
The Photographic Journey of bulldog. 
I think Pam Ayres was the author.
Hilarious response Camilla – I would like to print it side by side with the original in our Ford Club Magazine – the ladies will love it!
I’d go for it Oltrekker, nothing to stop you, there is no copyright on either… thanks for the visit though…
This item is the subject of an Australian copywrite by the Australian poet David Kelly. It has been modified from the original version first published in Hobart Tasmania on 26th August 2012 and the version published on your site has been modified in several areas where specific reference is made to the authors wife and her multi lingual skills.
Oh, please do. If you do, would you mind sending me a copy to ullvin@eircom.net
Hi Camilla, nice of you to stop by… I think the two printed side by side would be magnificent…
Laughter makes a merry heart! hahaha!
So right..
Im still laughing! This is so funny! Thanks!
I loved it and laughed out loud…
Pingback: A reply from the satnav. | The Photographic Journey of bulldog.
Couldnt help myself, so i wrote a reply from the wifes perspective:
I am your little satnav
I am your little satnav
I sit there in your car
I am a driver’s best friend
I tell you where you are
I am your little satnav
I’ve stuck by you all my life
I’m better than all the other ones
Yes, I am your wife
I give you full instructions
Cause if I didn’t do
Our life would be very messy
I can’t trust it all on you
I tell you when to stop and start
I have to smell your stinky fart
And if I want a break
I have to fake a head ache
If I didn’t tell you when the light is red
Or when it goes to green
You will try to relive your youth
And drive like when you were nineteen
I cook your food every day
Make sure all your clothes are clean
Taking this in to account
You should treat me like a queen
I’m sure no other husband
Has such a patient wife
For when you leave the toilet seat up
I could stab you with a knife
It fills me up with wonder
I could have had my pick
So why don’t I exchange you
And get a younger prick?
Ah well, you see, I keep my promises,
Like the one the day we wed,
Until death do us part
And – you’re not half bad in the bed!
So shut up and drive the car
Keep listening to my voice
To turn me off
Is simply not a choice.
Camilla you are my heroine .. I am so glad you shared this on my post and I will re-share it in the future as a post all on its own and give you the credit for it… I love it…
Happy you liked it! 😀
Brilliant!
I think so too
This is so funny!!!! I love it.
Thanks Elaine…
Too funny!
Thanks Mrs P.
Naughty!
No too naughty..
:)…….
Hilarious! Your poem gives me one of those whole body/mind laughs that is so energizing. Many thanks!
Only a pleasure to share this with you all… not sure who wrote it but I did love it myself…
I think we know… lol 🙂
Yep both husband and wife are guilty…
Wow, and after I just read that loving tribute to your wife on your anniversary. Marriage is a fickle thing. This is pretty cute though!
THis arrived by email and I thought it so good I had to share… Linda never navigates for me, will comment on speed but that’s about all…. but I’m not a very good passenger… and it probably has more meaning to me than her… but I still love it…
Whew! glad to hear it.
This is awesome…..will print and share with hubby. Hubby and I have been together thirty years and we don’t fight often. The few times we do, it’s usually in the car when dear wife helps too much! LOL
I have to agree its probably the only place we tell each other to shut up…
very sweet:)
Yep I agree…
Did my husband send that poem to you? Did he write it? Sounds mighty suspicious to me. We just returned from a car trip to Rhode Island (about 200 miles) and he drove abominably. I kept trying to help him with my carefully worded suggestions, but I suspect he would have like to turn me off too.
I have to be honest my wife when driving with me as a passenger has told me to “Shut up, or get out…” so maybe men can also be little satnavs…
LOL!!! Thanks for the giggles!!
Glad I could give you a giggle…. you are always dealing them out….
awwww..Thanks!
Great post! Yeah, I’ll bet she hasn’t seen it, has she? LOL
She has now… and reminded me of what a pain I can be when she is driving…. had to admit I’m worse than her….(hope she looks at this comment… might just score some points..)
Isn’t it funny that we all have our times of being “back seat drivers?” My grandmother was an all-star 🙂
I’m sure my husband would wholeheartedly agree. I had to laugh because I saw myself in this.
Don’t we all… I think men are just as guilty….lol
This is too funny! Some of us are just born to the role! 🙂 Debra
Yep me being one of them…lol
Absolutely! 🙂 ….
BTW Bulldog, I have some a visit today to a place you may enjoy … but for capturing pics of animals in the wild.
Frank I await my return to the city to be able to catch up on blogs… look forward to seeing this place posted on your site…
Enjoy your time away!
LOL this is just too funny!!!!
I love it… I think so many see themselves in it… me included…
I think this was written about me 😀
and me… and so many others…
Haha!
The moment you turned it off, you are actually gonna miss it. I have one too when I drive which I actually needed since I am poor when navigating. “I have a little Satnav
I’ve had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife.” Great post.
Yes that is what we need to admit… they are our little helpers we cannot afford to be without…
Oh this is so great bulldog! I am also a little “Satnav” then!! Maybe that’s what Penny should name the loving dragon?! 🙂 I totally thought you wrote this one – and was beaming with pride — no? “unknown” — still may be?? Regardless wonderful share … I will pass this on for certain! So did relate — Sending you Love ~ and Linda your “Satnav” too x R
No…. I gave her another more appropriate name… see the comments on her blog…
Robyn how I wish I could pen something just half as good as this… I’d be in second heaven…
Hehe
I agree.
😀
Bwahahaha! You didn’t mention that it even warns you to beware of pedestrians just walking safely on the sidewalk, on the other side of the road. 🙂
Yep I forgot about that…lol
That is brilliant! – and that’s from a female…..
There are so many men that could admit to this as well… I’m a big culprit…lol
Many men would agree with this poem lol
that’s what I thought… got to hide this one from the wife…