Reflections on life..

A blog or post I read this morning was so profound, that it sparked the need for me to write. Not something I do often on this site, I do it more on Street Articles. But when I received an answer to my comment, it had me take the time to make a cup of tea and light a cigarette. To sit quietly and contemplate the present, past and future.

The post was from stuffitellmysister  (click to see her blog) and specially her post from yesterday (click to read the post). This is so profound that it needs sharing, the fact we spend so much time these days fighting to make a living, chasing time as though we can catch it and yet forgetting about the importance of life. The proverbial “take the time to smell the roses” is no longer considered as important. The time to share with our loved ones, relaxing or for that matter just taking five minutes for ourselves.

Life can be cut short in so many differing ways, and we all think our time will never come, yet the truth of the matter is, it could be gone tomorrow… It is not a huge problem for us that go, yet those that stay behind are the ones that suffer, the “why didn’t we” thoughts that carouse through the mind. The regrets of not taking that short time to say the “I love you”, the time for a Hug, or just the loving touch that can say so much to the receiver.

Yes we have to strive to make a living, unavoidable unless born with the proverbial “Golden spoon” in the mouth, yet this very fact is played on by the money making employees who consider the life of their workers with very little importance.. (Not saying they are all the same) I was an employer of staff at one stage of my life, in fact for 22 odd years. I like to think that I treated my force with love and kindness and made sure that they had the time to enjoy life as well.

The point I’m attempting to make, is that we need to make time, even if it is just the odd five minutes, to talk, to love and to make sure that our partners know how we feel about them. Don’t let a day pass without that time, don’t wake to the fact too late, never allow the day to pass that communication in some form is not made with those that you love..

I love it that stuffitellmysister answered my comment with the fact that her Husband had read her post,  her reply to me or a portion thereof “The post helped my deepest “innards” and reminded my man that I love him. (I know this because he came home, hugged me and told me!)” Wow the power of a post, and that her husband had taken the short time to read and get the message… This is the type of communication we should have with our loved ones at all time. Does this not truly show the love between a couple and the fact that Paula is concerned for her husband?

All I can say to Paula… thank you for the post, it awakened me to the fact that I have become complacent lately and even that I might have started to think myself invincible. I will show my love to all that I do, more often than I have been…. Good on you, and thank you for the wake up call….

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50 thoughts on “Reflections on life..

  1. What a lovely post….glad I went back through all of my missed blogs and found this!!!!! We’re closing in on 35 years…I’m a very grateful girl and yes, we all need that reminder to show our love 🙂

    • It was one of those days that a single post affects me in such a way that I have to stop and think things through… our computer program is an analytical one… and Linda will often walk past when one of these moments hits me and say.. “siting once more with the analysis cap on”… some posts just hit me that way.. this one just reminded me of how we have no control over the “when and where” of life.. thanks for going back.. makes for a lot of work..

  2. I jumped off that ‘working for money and forgetting my family’ merry-go-round last year and it was the best decision I ever made. My hubby was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year and I nearly lost him. It’s a shame it takes a ‘kick in the guts’ like that for us to stop and reevaluate our lives because we should be living every day as if it’s our last. I make sure people know I love them (and this may sound a bit corny) because anything can happen to any one of us at any given moment and I don’t want to be left with regrets! Sounds selfish, I know – because it’s not just about me. I told my father I loved him the day he died and my brothers and sisters didn’t get that opportunity – at the funeral they were all regretful and ‘if I only I could go back’ was mentioned a lot.

    I’m heading over to Paula’s blog now…

    • Corny it is not… this is the attitude one should have… “say today what you will regret not having siad tomorrow”… I have seen this in so many cases, people who say “I could have..”, “why didn’t I..” and it is this that leaves the regrets when a person passes on, leaving not the happy memories that they should…
      Linda has had 3 different cancers over the last 19 years and I know what you mean about the reevaluation… all of a sudden there is a reality that was un thought of before…
      Hope all is well with Hubby and thanks for the comment… I like to let everyone I love know it… and if some one thinks that’s corny.. come say it to my face…

  3. You have offered some truly wonderful insight here bulldog. Thank you. All you say is so true. We need to continually tap ourselves on the shoulder and appreciate our blessings – and acknowledge them with words, action, letters, smiles, kisses.. well you get it … all to easy to get caught up in the stuff that really isn’t what life is all about… the stresses – the strains – the pain. Funny, just last weekend we were doing some cleaning out of our attic ~ and came across a box of “love letters” my husband wrote me 30 years ago! He read them to me aloud and I just cried… I think he did too. Talk about reminders…. We had both forgotten so much of the foundation our relationship was built on … the one that has probably gotten us through all these very tough times — it was pretty incredible to remember. Thank you for sharing your heart …. you are a wise and loving soul and so grateful to know you here ~ Love and adoration ~ Robyn

    • Thanks Robyn what a lovely memory to come across… when we were younger our expressions of our love was so much more than what it is today… and why.. complacency I think is the word.. we get too used to what we have and forget to take the time to sit back and contemplate the times we have had together… If I could only find the letters I wrote Linda… we would have one thing more to laugh about which now a days takes up so much of our time together… those that can laugh together and cry together .. love together till the end of time… It sounds as though you are as lucky as I am with your life partner… love and adoration back to you..

  4. “As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.” ~ Ben Hogan
    Love your thoughts on this subject too, bdt. I’ll go and have a look at Paula’s post. 🙂

  5. relationships do take work and it is good work. Your post is lovely and i look forward to popping over to your friends and reading hers too.. actually words escape me this morning i am tired and cold and not terribly bright. But do have a lovely day with those you love. c

    • Cecila.. thanks for the comment… and I hope you find the time in your busy schedule to stop and smell the roses… but then you blog does show your love of life and all things nature wise… that makes for a healthy living…

  6. I follow that blog as well but have not read the post yet. So true bulldog. The other day I decided I would not look at the clock all day. I tell the people in my life everyday that I love them and I pray for all my friends who are having a rough time. It is important and at the end of the day, it really is all there is. Great thoughts bulldog!

    • Thank you.. yes to share and to think of others… to take the time sometimes just to phone a friend to find out how things are… can make such a difference in ones life… this post of Paula’s has kicked me back to life… she’s good and humourous and I love her blog..

    • Thanks Diana… yes you would be surprised how some blog post I see or read .. instigate a period of deep thought and contemplation… this one just seemed to kick me in the stomach and was such a wake up call to think about my own goings on… I thought it was one of the most profound posts I’ve ever read… and I hope it touched more in the same way…

  7. What you wrote is very powerful and true — and, one of those things that is vital we learn on this journey. My daughter and I attended a funeral of a 20 year old man on Friday. The son of very dear friends, the father shared how he was grateful he didn’t regret how he was living his life and sharing love with his son. He regretted that he didn’t have more time to keep doing what he was doing.

    I thought that was incredibly powerful and comforting. to live our lives doing what we never have to regret.

    • Louise thank you for the visit and comment… I think that in short is what I’m advocating live ones life as though tomorrow could be the last and never leave with a regret of not taking the time to do the right thing… most of what keeps us fresh and in love are the little things that only take a moment.. a smile, hug, kiss, a “I love you”, a touch or a special smile … we should all remember this.. life would then end with no regrets but merely a yearning for the type of person we were… Make sense.???

  8. Very thoughtful and a great reminder to live in the moment–not the past or the future (as we so often do). That’s one of the things I enjoy so much about Buddhism–it is a practice that reminds me constantly to be aware of this moment. “Where am I now?” In doing so, I am more appreciative of all that I have and all that I am. I worry less about the things I cannot change (what has already happened or what might happen). I act more spontaneously. When I look at the man I love and think, “My, he’s handsome!” I tell him and give him a kiss. When I see my dog curled in his bed sleeping and feel overwhelming love for him, I go over to him and hug him. These moments are ones I will always treasure because I didn’t let them slip by unnoticed and unattended to.

    Thanks for the post, Bulldog!

    • Oh Lorna you have made the statement of the moment… to live the moment and forget about the things you cannot change… to face the adversity when it happens with a non preconceived idea, being the answer… to take the time when one notices the handsome face or the comfy dog and to pass the love at the time is the answer… Maybe more of us should be looking to some of the teachings of others … I find it interesting you follow Buddhism with such profound teachings and it makes more sense to me why you have the outlook on life your post depicts… good on you..

      • Well, they call it a “practice” because I often fail to follow the principles I know so well. It’s easy to fall back into old patterns of living on auto-pilot. Being aware is tough work. So is staying in the moment. But I notice when I’m not doing it–and that’s progress! 🙂

  9. You are so, so right Bulldog!! Life has become an out of control merry-go-round that is sometimes hard to jump off of. I know myself that I have been consciously trying lately to make more time to enjoy my family and also make sure that I have “me” time to enjoy the hobbies that are so important to me. I used to be so worried about getting stuff done around the house in the little time that I had after work that I just seemed to be permanently stressed. Now, I just say the hell with it!! It will still be there tomorrow. My kids are old enough now that my hubby and I can actually go out and do stuff on our own, and we are really enjoying the one on one time that didn’t exist very much when the kids were little. Plus I also relish my alone time. Yesterday my hubby had to work a show in Toronto all day, and after doing the bare necessities in chores, I sat on the couch under a blankie reading a good book for the rest of the day while Mother Nature went crazy with a winter storm outside. It was a perfect day for me :). Enjoy life while we have it right?

    • This is so important to hear… so many times in the past Linda and I would rush around cleaning house because someone was coming to visit… a false sense of tidiness .. not what I am.. today if someone pitches they get me as I am… if there is a book or magazine out of place, or a pair of slippers lying in the lounge where I discarded them … tough luck… the stress of living falsehoods is past… today we spend far more time in each others company doing things that make us happy… and if that is just to sit around and laugh so be it… I don’t want to leave this earth lewaving hard feelings or why questions behind… I want to leave on a high and be remembered such…

      • I couldn’t agree more :). Because I have always been a neat freak and kind of obsessive, I still have a long way to go, but I have really relaxed a lot compared to a few years ago. And as far as people coming to visit, I have totally given up on cleaning before they get here – it’s a waste of time. I just clean after they leave LOL!!

          • You know Bulldog, you have really got me thinking today!! I have something else for you to ponder that I think is related. I hope I can put this into words. Would you agree that everybody is different and each person handles things differently and so they have to adjust the way they live accordingly? There are people who thrive on a crazy life – the busier the better, and if they don’t have 50 things to do in a day they are bored. Those type of people are actually ok in the high stress jobs that stufitellmysister was referring to. Then you have the social butterflies who are constantly going to parties and planning social events. Then there are the people like my mom who get very overwhelmed very easily. I know she is this way because I am the same way and probably got it from her. However, the difference between my mom and I is that I have learned to adjust my life accordingly. My life has been busy enough with a full time job and two kids and a ton of hobbies that I enjoy, so I try not to add extras that will put my stress level over the top. So, although I know it makes one a good person to volunteer in your community, I just don’t because I have enough going on. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t think so – I just know my limitations. Also, I don’t entertain very often because I know it’s more stress than enjoyment for me. Now, I was talking to my mom yesterday, and she was freaking out because she has so much on the go and she was envious of me for having time to sit down and read a book. My parents are 79 years old and although retired they volunteer at the hospital and their church and are constantly going to social events. They never have a free moment. It’s great that they are keeping themselves so busy at 79 years of age, but my mom is constantly stressed. I told her (in a nice way of course) that she was her own worst enemy because she should know that she gets overwhelmed and that maybe she should cut down a little on her activities so she has some timme to just enjoy what they have left of life. I hope maybe she will listen to me so that they can relax a little bit and enjoy the years they have left :). Sorry for such a long comment, but your post really made me think a lot today. Thanks Bulldog!

            • Wow this is not what I expected and yet I am so happy with the result of a post of a fellow blogger… I do agree that we are all different, from those that strive on stressful situations and the pressure of the moment… and lets be honest there is actually nothing wrong with that… as long as one does not loose the bigger picture and live just for the job or activity at the expense of their loved ones…
              I was the Chief Surveyor in a big engineering firm and flew from job to job absolutely thriving on the pressure and the problems I needed to solve.. but this came with a problem.. I missed the kids things and it was the beginning of my alcoholism… Linda suggested we bought a farm (not seriously) but I did and we moved out of the city to farm life that was so laid back at first I struggled to acclimatise to this.. I did and loved it.. the only problem the stress of things I could not control (weather) drove me further down the bottle.. I was using it as a crutch instead of turning to the family and sharing my problems…
              Now if this is not the misuse of time, family and relaxation, then I don’t know what is…
              We lost the farm after 5 years but us being who we are we crawled our way back up and became successful business owners… I left the drink 25 years ago and my life control and management have improved to such an extent my wife loves me again..
              However one lives, the moment needs to be remembered and time, even if it is short, needs to be made to enjoy, love and cherish… other wise one might just miss the bus and the family remains with the questions of was it the right thing to do… and did we do enough….
              One thing I must say .. I have worked with and known some of the top business men who made their tough jobs look easy.. and some have the ability to take on stressful situations without the stress affecting them, however we are not all like that, and it is those that find the stressful times getting the better of themselves and admitting it that need to take the time to assess their lives, or to ensure they make the odd time to relax and smell the roses… to me the biggest thing is to have the time with ones loved ones, to enjoy each other and even merely to pass on the secret little touches and hugs that get the blood pressure moving in a good way… it might just save their lives… and spare those that get left behind when they pass on with a good feeling about life and their time together…
              This has certainly had my mind going all day.. I love it.. and hope that someone is aided and rethinks their life style…

              • You have certainly overcome some major obstacles in your life and should be very, very proud of yourself :). You have gone down many difficult paths, but in the end you chose the path that leads to love and family. What a great choice! Thanks for making us all reflect on what is really important today :).

  10. Great post and very important lesson here. I must admit, though, that for me, my relationships with family and friends take higher priority than anything else. i will always find time to let them know I love them and am thinking about them. I think I was just born taking time to “smell the roses”, even if it’s in brief seconds between everything else. You can have a holiday in a mere moment and make a difference in someones life just with a smile or a touch (these things don’t take up a whole lot of time but they make the world a better place in which to live).

    • Oh how I agree with you… I walk and greet people here in Pta.. few greet back but most look so worried and in such a hurry… it is those that need to make the wake up call…
      I’m so pleased to see you make the time for the family before all else.. that is what makes life great, and I do agree one can have a holiday in a few minutes… take the time to just sit and look at nature, see what is happening around you.. it’s as good as a holiday and to understand natur, to see how relaxed it is will do everyone the world of good… Thanks for the comment.. I love your blog…

  11. Really great post 🙂 The crazy thing is that it’s really not that hard to get our very basic needs for shelter, food, and safety met. With a little bit of common sense, and work you can sort out your basic needs. And yet even though we have everything we need to survive we still run around and stress out as if our life depended on it. Once our needs are met it’s time to take a moment to feel the wind on your face, listen to a nice song, sit alone with yourself, slow down, and be with good people.

    By all means work toward improving things in your life, and strive for your goals, but never at the expense of your daily sense of contentment and happiness 🙂

    Thanks for sharing, any reminder to slow down and appreciate life is always very welcome 🙂

    Rohan.

    • Thank you for the comment… the post that inspired this post says it all… and although I now sit earning probably a quarter of what I’m used to… life is still just great… I have the time to do the things I want and am forced to smell the roses.. which I can assure you are just beautiful… what more do I need… just to remember to tell those I love it more often.. so that should something happen there are no regrets…

    • Thank you Julie… it had a very powerful effect on me.. had to go and sit and think about what I’d read, and to see the simple message that was being so profoundly expressed by Paula… one hell of a wake up call for me….

  12. I should have been in bed an hour ago…..but your thoughts are keeping my thoughts going! Thank you for reading my post in the first place….and for having such good points for me to ponder on. I will continue to work harder in our relationship….and I would challenge all to do the same. Even after thirty years together….we can take nothing for granted. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and many rich blessings to you and yours… ♥ paula

    • I thought I might have sneaked this past you seeing as you said you were off to bed… and now I feel guilty as I have kept you up… still sleep in tomorrow…
      Been 39 years with Linda and still don’t do enough to remind her of my love for her… I thank you for your post, rather as a great wake up call to me and hopefully to many others…

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