I Need Help.. please give your opinion.. A or B

I have to place an advert in a Golf Magazine.. It’s a full page ad to run for two months, that will set us back R 20 000… and I can’t make up my mind which one I prefer… so please give your opinion with a vote for either A or B and maybe a reason why… thanks I knew I could rely on you all…

Capture A

Capture B

Clicking on the picture will enlarge it … but might not improve the quality…

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122 thoughts on “I Need Help.. please give your opinion.. A or B

  1. I prefer this layout the new re-vamped one looks dull. The only two problems with this layout is the arrow over the writing must go and your contact details can be inserted on the lawn area of the photo. I hope you have an amazing response.

    • Thank you for your feed back… the jury is still out on this one… and we are still at an impasse… it would seem we are going to have to spend the money and see an expert…

  2. Neither work. And I spent twenty years in advertising all around the world, working on some big brands. The headline is a pun on the visual, there is nothing compelling and no call to action. I can’t see what it’s about, and more importantly, I can’t see who it’s from.

    • Now that comment I like… and after all the feed back and comments we agree with you.. we have put a few others together and will try again… hope you comment as honestly again next time… thank you..

  3. Advertising is the largest expense a business can have. As you can see there are so many points of view that you may second and third guess your add. I always tried to stay with the who, what, when, where and why. That being said, the arrow is distracting. Best wishes for this endeavor.

    • Thank you for the comment… we have a few mock ups now since the post, which to be honest I have really enjoyed hearing all the different points of view… and as our budget for advertising is fairly limited at this stage and almost restricted to paying for it to run in the Mag.. we have to stumble on and do our own… and this is fun..

  4. Hey Rob, I ask my son-in-law his input. He is in marketing and golf. Hope you don’t mind. Sherry M. Here is his feedback:

    Hi Sherry,
    Sorry for the delayed reply. I was on the road all day yesterday (PHX).

    As far as the layout, I prefer the one with the white background – although I find the arrow somewhat distracting.

    As far as content… I, obviously, am not in the industry and, therefore not the target audience – so there may be terms which do not make sense to me but will for his audience. As an attention getter, I would tend to ignore the ‘buzz words’ (e.g. Empowers, Enables, etc…) and would be more apt to focus on how the program does things (better). For example:

    WHAT IT IS:

    · Designed for sports institutions

    o A dedicated analytical program to calculate the spend profile

    WHAT IT DOES / HOW IT HELPS:

    · Monitor real-time expenditure and cost savings

    · Perform cost analyses

    · Monitor daily occurrences

    · Real Time control of employees

    WHY THIS IS BETTER THAN THE COMPETITION:
    · …

    Just my 2 cents but his bullet points seem to be a jumble of all his ideas (some repeating themselves). I hope you’re not sorry you asked…

    Joel

    • Sherry thank you so much for doing that for me… we have had so many suggestions that a complete re think is in the pipe lines.. I did a mock up today of a new one and sent it to someone that has offered to help… I think people will see a big difference when I post the final thought…

    • Oh and I forgot to ask you to pass on to your son my thanks for his input… again very similar to what was suggested by Penny who is helping me…

      • Great Rob, I don’t get by often but you and your family are always in my heart. Miss you and Heather and SA interactions. I know your Project will be a Super Winner!

    • Wow I’m impressed and very thankful for this input.. I have created another on the comments and expert advice of Penny L. Howe and it is close to what you are suggesting… thank you for your input, I appreciate the time and effort you have put in…

        • and his comment was most helpful… I delight in the fact that he took the trouble to comment, in such a diplomatic manner.. instead of calling a spade a spade and telling me to stop trying to do his job… lol… he showed his expertise by recommending basically what Penny said I must do.. good to have experts that are prepared to help poor old me…

  5. A few more thoughts on this. This may have been said already, I haven’t read all the comments, but the wording should really focus on what the benefits are to the user rather than what the features are of the product. So for each function or feature that you’ve listed, you ask yourself “So what?” what is the benefit to the person of that feature and then word it in that way. “Enables you to…”, “Gives you the ability to…”, “Helps you to…”. And at the end, it’s good to finish with a call to action, telling them what to do now, be it visit a website, or email, or call.

    Do post up a revised version for us to all tear apart when you have it! 😉

    • Thank you Vanessa.. I have had a good laugh at this post of mine… one thing I kind of realised.. I’m useless at this.. but the comments and feed back has been so good that I have learnt all the way between the laughing… One magnificent thing that came out of this is the professional help I’m getting from Penny L Howe.. she is a magical person, sent me an email that had me thinking the whole thing through again and looking at other adverts in a different light.. I have already made up another which I will send to her so she can pull it apart first and then when she’s happy I’ll post it.. for you all to entertain yourselves giving wise comments again… I have loved this, and maybe should do this again and again… certainly got the comments…

  6. Such a great suggestions from Lorna’s Voice and Penny L Howe.
    In my opinion, the ads should be unique, ‘eye catching’, quick read and simply.
    It’s better the company website (www.terratry.com ?) be added company tagline, i.e: smart solution sport management… 😀
    Agree that green is ‘golf color’. Good luck my friend.

    • Thanks so much for your input.. I’ve been in contact with Penny via email and she gave me such valuable help that I will be redoing the whole Ad differently… but every ones input has been amazing and helpful…

  7. I notice the green arrow, a good thing! I would use less words, ex: Real time employee management. Perhaps focus on the problem you are solving rather than how you get there?you probably don’t need more input at this time, also, perhaps a green arrow on white background, blend the two? That’s it, your success is in my prayers bulldog- go for it!

  8. A! But I would also change the words (sorry it’s the fundraiser in me) I would make the ad about the potential buyer. Say something like you already do so much, why not let ________ handle _____ for you. You’re a busy person. We know you don’t have a lot of time to input. What if we told you, there’s a tool that will allow you to get quicker and more reliable information…etc etc yanno what I mean?

  9. A seems better. Is it possible to minimize the wordings to make them crisp.. Point no.9 is rather unclear…is it ‘Helps managers monitor daily activities..’Thank you

  10. This is so cool! I would choose (A) because I have “old” eyes and it is easier to read with the contrasting color. But I guess it would depend on your target market age. Either would rock! Great job!

  11. Hi Bulldog, You have lots of thoughts but I’ll just add mine too! I like the green best (golf and grass immediately put into the mind by that colour – it makes sense), I don’t care for the arrow though, although I see the concept, but I think it does make it look too cluttered. As some others have said less text and a bit more snappy is good. I really like your terratry logo with the course-shape and pin behind it. Looking forward to the next draft!! Ruth 🙂

    • Thanks Ruth.. the jury seems to be in on the arrow concept.. and that it is too wordy… thanks so much for your input, it is really appreciated…

  12. Bulldog, I’m agreeing with the comments about wordiness, and the clarity of the white (sans arrow). My concern is having to hunt for how to contact terratry. Isn’t cost cutting and saving on administrative costs the business mantra of the moment? Won’t everyone appreciate a powerful and easy to operate and read tool to achieve this? Good luck! 🙂

    • Thank you.. yes cost cutting is the big thing on golf courses today.. the industry is hell expensive to maintain and the only way they are seeing to reduce costs are labour cuts, the worst thing that one can do, less labour affects course condition, which affects rounds of golf so one returns to the same income and expenditure ratio.. the problem is there is no program showing exactly what ones spend profile is on the course.. and if you don’t know where you spend it you can’t save.. that is what our program does.. and it does it with great success.. I saved between 7 and 9 % on budget the two years I used it.. and with a budget of 4.5 to 7 million this can equate to a substantial saving without labour loss…

  13. I think the wording needs to be fixed. Asking a question with an obvious answer is going to have people tune out the add. It’s better to make a statement than to ask a question in advertising — when it comes to saving money.

  14. I agree with the arrow comments. My first thought was that I couldn’t read the information. I liked them both except for the arrow but the white looks cleaner. If it was my ad, I’d get rid of the arrow and go for the white background.

    • Thank you Anneli .. we do appreciate that you took the time to give your opinion.. as an author we could do with your knowledge on wording… thank you for the input much appreciated…

  15. I’m a little late in the game, having played this weekend in Montreal, but I concur with most comments: A is the winner. Question. Is this a computer program just for golf courses? If so, why is the first “bullet point” general to “sports institutions”?

    I know these are drafts, but be sure to capitalize all the bullet points (last two on A are not).

    Also trim the language so you can make your message stand out more (make it a larger font)–something like this:

    The automated system for sports centers that

    1. Monitors real-time expenditures
    2. Conducts cost-benefit analyses
    3. Calculates detailed spending profiles
    4. Inventories every dimension of operations
    5. Manages employee daily activities in real-time
    6. Observes real-time occurrences
    7. Requires minimal time for data input

    Remember, I’m no business person, so take what I say with a grain of salt (whatever that is supposed to mean). 😉 Good luck!

    • Lorna thank you so much for the input.. I think we realise a major rethink needs to be made… and everyone has been so helpful that we will get a little closer next time round… we have a graphic designer to make it look all smart.. but cannot afford the marketing team… so you are all my team…

  16. On an additional note, I read the other comments and you will notice that most were immediately drawn to the green arrow. In advertising, you have only a few seconds to capture your markets attention, making the green arrow a pivotal point. With reference to the entire layout the only additional advice I would add is the fewer words the better – once again the nature (demographics) of your future customers (market) – determines what information you would want to present to them (yes I sound like a teacher, I apologize, lol – I did give classes in Marketing basics to start-up companies so it comes naturally).

    Key references: What are you selling that they can’t get anywhere else! How will your program help them (save time, make money) And a hook (something that makes your product compelling, stand out)! Sorry if this is too much info, my apologies, just wanted to be helpful. Let me know if I can be of further help bulldog (for free – I’m not selling anything here my friend!) My sincerest wishes for your success! You’ve certainly put the time in, for this one!

  17. I like B better because I find the white cleaner and more professional, but it seems most people prefer the green, so I guess the majority view is more important! My other half runs a graphic design and print company, so I’ll ask him for his opinion later and let you know if he has anything insightful to say!

    • Thanks Venessa.. I do appreciate it… the problem is here we are split in opinion.. and as there are four of us we need help to lean one way or the other…

  18. The green is appealing – but the white looks much more readable – also the white background tricks your eye into thinking it’s part of the magazine content – plus the rounded rectangles at the bottom don’t have the corners peaking through (probably just a file import issue). You have a lot of text – I would sacrifice color for readability

    • Thank you so much.. we are rethinking the whole thing.. one doesn’t want to loose a potential customer because he didn’t read the whole thing…

      • Ads are tough – they need to speak quickly (I oversee the design of them for a living) I would consider taking that text and making bullet points out of it – a faster read.

  19. Bulldog this is a pleasure for me to comment. I used to own and operate a marketing firm, and am exceedingly comfortable in offering my opinion to your two examples. My answer, specific to your question: The one on the left, absolutely. The colored arrow draws attention, a focal point (if you will) to your whole piece, and does not interfere with the reading of the advert. The one on the right (where just the arrow is an outline is disruptive to reading the content nor does it add value to the composition as a whole). Hoping my thoughts are some value to you dear friend, Penny

    • Thank you Penny… If I’d known that I would have been appealing to you direct… we have brain stormed another which we feel is a little more acceptable to the message we trying to get across… thinking of posting that tomorrow for opinions… but thank you for the input we are so thankful to everyone.. we’re not experts at this.. I can look at a piece of grass and tell you what is wrong .. the other partners can program anything for a computer but between us what do we know about advertising ..0

  20. I prefer the 2nd one – it’s easier to read, but truthfully, both seem a little cluttered to me.The white arrow on the green background in ‘A’ is very distracting. What is the arrow supposed to indicate? Is it a logo that users will find on other documentation? An arrow is fairly ubiquitous in computing. I’d be careful. The caption: ‘the program for you’ feels redundant & a little condescending. People are fairly wise to ads – to subtext and all that stuff. The pic is fine – says what it’s about with no bs. You also need to proof read – there’s a spelling error (financial – you’ve skipped an ‘n’ or 2.)
    Being horribly ritical, aren’t I?
    Sorry. They are the first things I thought/saw.
    I hope something helpful comes from my comments, And I hope it all works well 🙂
    GOOD LUCK!!!

    • Oh man this is just what I asked for.. is honesty.. we cannot afford to go to some big company and pay 20 to 30 thousand for an ad that is going to cost 20 grand in any case so we need the feed back to take to a designer that will pretty it all up for us… so I appreciate all comments and feed back… thank you.. now go and foto trees…

        • when you have the skin of a Rhino nothing stings… I had the best of laughs at this post.. and learnt a lot from all the comments.. we have had some great instruction from Penny L Howe that has given us a far better direction and a little better idea so we will try again and see where we end up… words have never managed to sting me .. that I can assure you..

  21. The contrasted arrow of (A) has better impact in my opinion.
    I think the wording needs revision. My suggestions would be for ‘the programme for you’ to become
    ‘The programme for sports institutions which:’ (as that heading)
    Number 1 becomes ‘Empowers the monitoring …’ Then would come ‘Enables financial …’ ‘Offers a dedicated…’ ‘Arrives at the results …’ ‘Gives up-to-date control …’ ‘Analyses expenditure …’ ‘Provides real-time control …’ ‘Enables managers to …’ ‘Requires minimal time for input.’
    Tidier and more coherent that way?

  22. I like “A” better. My eyes are more drawn to it. Both seem too cluttered (too much info and many types of graphics) but the one on the right seems more cluttered. Good luck with the ad, my friend. I hope its results surpass your expectations.
    Russ

    • Thanks Russ for the input… it is really helpful when people give their opinions… if I can get something every one likes here .. I should have a winner…

  23. I like A but with a caveat … I would eliminate the arrow. It’s visually complicating the message. There are a lot of graphics on the page with black borders … all good except for the arrow. Just my humble opinion. Best of luck!

  24. I think A …. however I think the text and the arrow is a bit (busy) harsh on the eye. Can you leave the green background and remove the arrow from behind the text and make it smaller and place below the text perhaps? Laura

  25. I would go for the green … because the words shows much better and also make the advert much inviting. White background is boring. Like your logo. I agree with Alex above … text outside the arrow is more difficult to read. Do you need the arrow … can’t you use something else.

  26. I agree with both comments above. The green allows all components of the add to stand out more, and I also think that the arrow would be more effective if the text was contained inside of it. So exciting!! 🙂

  27. I would have to say I like the one with the green background. I didn’t have any problem reading it. Now for my proofreading . . . No. 9 and 10 – the first letters should be capitalized on the green version. Hope you don’t mine my mentioning that.

    • Thank you .. no I don’t mind we still have to take it back to the advert people and it’s all things like that we need to point out… so thanks for that…

  28. i like the first one with more green…it’s visually more appealing to me because it breaks up the “list” into a less formidable block of words. I tend to skim lists rather than read carefully. I think my eye lingers longer over the color block. Then, the obvious, I guess, but the advert is for golf greens. I think the green is an attractive complement to the photo at the top.

    I’ll be interested to see what others share. I’m not shy about color, but I’m sure there are others who will appreciate the cleaner aspect of the second choice. I can see what you’re up against in making the decision! Great to see how far you’re coming in your new company!

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