Thoughts for 2014-not a moment too soon!

I found this on Face Book and it was just so me… I just had to share it….

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while

A tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?

7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

8. Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant; the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

9. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the toilet.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

15. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m "here after".

19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

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50 thoughts on “Thoughts for 2014-not a moment too soon!

  1. Extremely funny, every single word. I can relate to let’s say most of them! You made my day! My husband is sitting here readying and dying laughing. Marvelous writing for the beginning of the new year!

  2. Chuckle chuckle Rob. Love this to bits and pieces. A wonderful kick start to the day for all official senior citizen followers
    (I joined the club in Nov 2013) Now I feel less guilty failing in the first week of 2014 on my two New Year resolutions on da list: D I E T and E X E R C I S E…LOL xx

  3. Hehe, great post Rob. I saw a good slogan on a t-shirt worn by an elderly lady once that made me chuckle – “At my age I’ve seen it all, heard it all, and done it all. I just can’t remember it all.”

  4. Whahahahaha Rob! Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded as well and now I forgot what I wanted to say. LOL!
    Oh yes, great post and thanks for sharing. *big hugs*

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