Category Archives: Humour
Why Men are Seldom Depressed.
You got to love this… saw it posted by a friend on FB…
WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People, What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $3500. Tux rental-$75.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
You Know You Are A Proud South African When…
A little bit of humour I picked up on the Internet….
YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:
# You call a bathing suit a a "kossie".
# You call a traffic light a "robot".
# You call an elevator a "lift"
# You call a car hood a "bonnet"
# You call a car trunk a "boot"
# You call a pickup truck a "bakkie"
# You call a Barbeque a "Braai"
# Employee s dance and sing in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
# You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
# You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you’ve never had any.
#You can sing your national anthem in four languages and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
# You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
# You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
# You produce a R100 note instead of your driver’s licence when stopped by a traffic officer.
# You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement!!!!!
# You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
# You know a taxi can carry twice its certified number of people in one trip.
#You travel 100’s of kilometres to see snow.
# You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee!
# More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
# People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Given, Patience, Portion, and Coronation.
# "Now now" or "just now" can mean anything from a minute to a month.
# You start every sentence with yes/no or ja/nee.
#You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
# Travelling at 120 km/h, you’re the slowest vehicle on the freeway.
# A bullet train is being introduced, but potholes can’t be fixed.
# The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
# You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one.
# Prisoners, Doctors and Nurses go on strike.
# You don’t stop at red traffic lights, just in case somebody hijacks your car.
# Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
# You consider a high crime rate as normal.
To Blog or to write.. that is the question.??
On the 17th of January 2012, I started to write articles on Street Articles. Why? to improve my English and to teach myself to write shorter articles mainly needed for the computer program. (Help files and manuals).. Did I enjoy it.? Yes, and after penning 103 articles I became the top author on the site..
Well guess what, I wrote my last article in November last year and although I’ve dropped off the top 30 ranking I still receive reads… the total as at today being.. 98 255.. can you believe it… but I only received 1618 comments on my articles…
Now as for blogging.. I started on the 12 of February 2012, which WP reminded me by sending me a chocolate cake…(I wish) and I’ve just noticed I have just past the 30 000 views… but what strikes me the most is the comments…9 814 on wordpress. Now I’m thinking, if I tallied up all the words I’ve received, and those I’ve written… maybe I could have written a further 218 articles and still been number 1 author… No, then I wouldn’t have met all of you, and that has been far more fun than trying to be intelligent and writing articles of substance…
But wow I never started this for views, but for fun, so I must thank all of you for popping in to view my photos and reading what I try to share…