“All Aboard” .. Two different meanings…

When we arrived in Kathu last Friday, Son told me he had a job for me. I knew there was a reason for him flying us down. Feeling all important I asked what was needed. The answer was not what I expected, he needed an assistant Medic to drive the Golf Cart to pick up the lame and injured at the Saturdays Rugby match.. Not a problem, I love gold carts and it sounded an important job.

Saturday saw me parked on the side lines while two teams tried their best to win the game.. now Kathu’s team is made up of miners and strong young fellows, the opposing team seemed just as strong and determined, and naturally a hard battle was fought with the odd injury.. My signal to proceed on the field was given by the team medics (the important people).

My first call was to collect a player with a very sore ankle.. he climbed on willingly. The second, limping along, gave me the ok he was going to walk… my reply was for him to climb aboard, or I would injure him more.. I was loving the importance of my job…

I enjoyed the chirping from the stands every time I had to collect a person…..

 

Now for the second meaning…. yesterday morning we had managed to get a seat on the plane to return… two minutes before boarding time the wife decided to go to the loo… we nearly missed the flight… when I entered the plane which was now being held for us, Linda still on her way.. I demanded to know who had pressed the play button on the remote… this had the men on board break out in laughter… it seems it is not only in my house that when you press the play button on the DVD player, the wife gets up and goes to the toilet…

I took some photos from the plane.. but could have wished for better conditions… but our descent into O R Tambo Airport gave me a few views of golf courses and race courses… few people realise just how big Johanneburg is… from the air it is massive…

Turffontein Race Course..

A shopping centre surrounded by houses….

Another Golf Course surrounded by houses…..

Even farms in the middle of the city… can you imagine what that ground is worth….

and the highways leading to who knows where…..

But now we’re back and having had an enjoyable time with the family, it’s back to the grindstone of business…

Flying.. not Birds.. but Planes..

In South Africa we have various airlines that fly the skies with internal flights… one of them is Kulula… this airline is well known for their sense of humour. I have flown quite often with them, as the flights just seem so much more casual and friendly…

Please remember my love of things is in the following order… chocolate… birds.. animals… aeroplanes… flying in planes… these of course all come after my wife. (shoo nearly dropped myself in the dwang there..)

We have our National airline…

And there is the foreign airlines that fly internal routes….

And then the colour of a mango…

And then my favourite…..

Now if that doesn’t say something about their sense of humour, then let me show you a few more photos….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And their announcements by the cabin crew as well as their pilots are hilarious… here are a few that I found on a website….

On a flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said,
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it ‘s something we’d like to have." and then this one…

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses..we don’t want them either.."

And with the flight safety instructions…"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this aeroplane."

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
"That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt."

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement:
"We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways."

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came on with,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."

And from the pilot during his welcome message:
"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

And then one I really enjoyed…I heard this on a Kulula flight:
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light ’em, you can smoke ’em."